We reached the end of Farscape today. It was a fun show. I liked it and recommend it, but somehow, it never grabbed me the way I expected it to. Maybe my expectations were set too high. Maybe I’ve been jaded by the predictable pattern of hero gets into trouble through no fault of his/her own. Hero gets out of trouble through use of skill/smarts/wit/humanity/whatever, all in the course of an hour. To be sure, Farscape was better than many shows at having larger arcs. The writing was generally witty, though sometimes the cultural references were piled on too quick and heavy for what was supposed to be the other side of the galaxy. I’m left a little melancholy by the ending, and I don’t think it’s all just because it ended.

[spoiler alert. stop now if you don’t want ending plot exposed.]

I’m sure some of it was D’Argo’s death. To be sure, pretty much everyone on that show has died a few times, and managed to come out of it somehow. But we’re lead to believe that this was a fairly final event. But I also think some of it was Aeryn’s approach to motherhood – specifically the reference to her only wanting it because John wants it so much.

[ end spoiler content. Of course, if you get here to notice that it’s the end of the spoiler, you probably read the spoiler.]

Maybe that hit too close to home. I’m looking forward to the new life that we’re welcoming home in about a month. I was on board with the plan to start trying to conceive. But to be frank, I kind of had to be talked into it. I think I’ll be a pretty good dad, all things considered, but the fear is returning. I’m scared of how a third soul will change the family dynamic – the couplehood that Carolyn and I have worked so hard to acheive. I’m scared that I’ll screw up and handicap the child in some preventable way. I’m scared that I won’t screw up, but that still the child will treat me with the indifference or disdain (or worse) that I feel like I’ve treated my own parents to in too great a measure. I hear frequently that parenthood is a transformative experience. But does everyone get this queasy feeling from the starburst?